Perhaps you saw it coming. Perhaps it landed out of nowhere. Either way, being told your husband or wife wants to end the marriage can feel like the ground has gone from under you. You may feel shock, grief, anger, or a strong urge to fight for what you had.
Those feelings are normal. This guide will not tell you how to feel. It will tell you, plainly, what the law in England and Wales allows you to do, and where your real power lies.
The short answer: In most cases you cannot stop a divorce in England and Wales. Since April 2022, the law has been “no fault”, and one spouse’s statement that the marriage has broken down is enough. But you keep strong rights over money, property, pensions and children. Those rights are where your energy is best spent. |
Why you usually cannot stop a divorce now
The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 changed the rules from 6 April 2022. Before then, a spouse had to prove adultery, behaviour, desertion or a period of separation. The other spouse could argue about those facts.
That has gone. Today the person applying only has to state that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. The court must treat that statement as conclusive. You cannot defend the divorce by saying the marriage is still working, or that you want to try again.
This can feel deeply unfair when you are the one who wants to stay. But the change has also removed the blame game. Nobody has to list your faults in a court form, and that tends to make the months ahead less bitter for everyone, including any children.
The few grounds on which you can dispute it
There are still limited reasons to dispute (the court calls it “challenging”) an application. They are technical, not emotional.
Ground to dispute | What it means in practice |
Jurisdiction | The courts of England and Wales do not have the power to deal with your divorce, for example because neither of you has the right connection to this country |
Validity of the marriage | The marriage was not legally valid in the first place |
The marriage has already ended | For example, a divorce has already been granted in another country |
Procedure | The rules for serving the application or other steps were not followed properly |
Fraud or coercion | The application was made dishonestly or under pressure |
If none of these applies, a dispute will almost always fail, and you may be ordered to pay the other side’s legal costs. Jurisdiction is the one area where there can be real tactical value, especially in international marriages where another country’s courts could deal with the divorce on different terms. If either of you has links abroad, take advice quickly.
What happens after the application is made
You will receive the application and a form called the acknowledgement of service. You have 14 days to return it. Even if you do not agree with the divorce, it is wise to respond. Ignoring the papers does not stop the process. It just means things happen without your input.
Stage | Minimum timing |
Application issued by the court | Day one |
Acknowledgement of service due | 14 days after you receive the papers |
Applicant can apply for the conditional order | 20 weeks after the application was issued |
Applicant can apply for the final order | 6 weeks and 1 day after the conditional order |
So the earliest a divorce can be finalised is around six months. That 20-week stage is often called a period of reflection. If you hope to save the marriage, this is the time to suggest counselling or a calm conversation. Some couples do pause or withdraw. Many do not, and it helps to prepare for both outcomes.
The rights you keep
This is the part that matters most. A divorce ends the marriage, but it does not decide who gets what. Your financial claims stay open until a court order deals with them.
Your right to a fair financial settlement
Under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, you can ask the court to divide assets fairly. That includes the family home, savings, investments, businesses and pensions. The court looks at needs first, then at fair sharing of what you built during the marriage. Whoever applied for the divorce has no advantage here.
Your right to stay in the home
If you are married and the home is in your spouse’s sole name, the Family Law Act 1996 gives you “home rights”. You cannot be thrown out without a court order. You can also register those rights at the Land Registry so the property cannot be quietly sold or remortgaged.
Your rights over the children
Being the “respondent” to a divorce does not affect your relationship with your children. Their welfare comes first, and decisions are made separately from the divorce itself.
Your right to a say on timing
If you have concerns about your financial position after divorce, such as losing a widow’s or widower’s pension, you can ask the court to consider your finances before the final order is made. In some cases, the court can hold back the final order. This is a useful protection and is often overlooked.
Checklist: what to do in the next two weeks
☐ Read every page of the application and note the date you received it
☐ Return the acknowledgement of service within 14 days
☐ Check whether there is any link to another country (nationality, homes, assets)
☐ Gather recent bank, mortgage and pension statements and keep copies safe
☐ Do not move large sums or make big financial decisions in a hurry
☐ Register home rights if the home is in your spouse’s sole name
☐ Speak to a family solicitor before you sign or agree anything
☐ Find someone to talk to: a friend, a counsellor or your GP
Looking after yourself
The legal process is quick compared with the emotional one. It is common to feel stuck, to replay conversations, or to hope your spouse will change their mind. You do not have to have it all worked out. What you do need is to protect your position while you find your feet.
Try not to fight over the divorce itself. That fight is usually lost and costly. The real decisions, about your home, your income, your pension and your time with your children, are still ahead. With good advice, you can face those from a position of strength.
How Shortlands can help
Our family lawyers have more than 20 years of experience helping people who did not choose divorce. We can check whether there is any real ground to dispute the application, explain the timetable, and protect your share of the family finances from the start.
Call us on 020 7629 9905 or request a call back. Our fixed-cost initial appointment gives you clear answers with no obligation to go further.
Law referred to in this article
- Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020
- Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 (as amended), including sections 1, 10 and 25
- Family Law Act 1996, section 30 (home rights)
This article is general information about the law in England and Wales. It is not legal advice. Please speak to a solicitor about your own situation.